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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27593789">It's me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rafamarkos5998/pseuds/rafamarkos5998'>rafamarkos5998</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Can See Clearly Now (The Rage Has Gone) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Red Hood: Lost Days, Young Justice - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Also YJ characters have been twisted to suit my needs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce Wayne Tries, Doesn't go well, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I want to write something hopeful, I'm aware of how convenient the ending is, Jason Todd Deserves Happiness, Jason Todd Needs Love, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Limited, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, and get back to my other stories, and he gets it, because I wanted to get this out of me, because he is a stand-in for the parents I have who do not get points for effort, but I didn't want that, for some concepts I want to write more of, i'm sorry in advance, no beta we die like jason did in the previous version of this, so i did, that's all this is, this story was a trial run, vent fic, well one of them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:54:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27593789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rafamarkos5998/pseuds/rafamarkos5998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason is going to attack Tim at the Tower. But before he can put his plan into motion, he watches the Team with Tim. He comes to a devastating conclusion about himself and chooses the worst possible course of action.</p><p>I apologize for treating the YJ characters as props. I'm not as familiar with them as I would like to be, but they felt like convenient tools for the story I wanted to tell. If you're here for them, apologies in advance - this is not their story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jason Todd &amp; Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul &amp; Jason Todd, The Team (Young Justice) &amp; Jason Todd, Tim Drake &amp; Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Can See Clearly Now (The Rage Has Gone) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>301</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I tried to write a what-if stemming from the question of what would have happened if Jason's demands from Bruce were a bit different.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jason reclined back into the chair as he watched the surveillance cameras on the Tower.</p><p>The Replacement and his gaggle of friends were supposed to be here already.</p><p>He had prepared for this for a month now. He needed to show Bruce what he was here for. He needed to show the kid that he wasn't half as good as he needed to be a part of this world. He was just an average human, he couldn't hope to hang with the metas that made up the rest of the team.</p><p>Speaking of being late - the camera covering the teleporter room showed activity.</p><p>He watched as the heroes streamed into the place, and immediately collapsed onto the nearest couch.</p><p>Must have been a tiring mission.</p><p>His mind went back to all the missions he had had with Dick's teammates. About the cold shoulders and barely-repressed resentment that radiated off of them when he would join them.</p><p>But the kid seemed to be... happy with them.</p><p>He watched as Conner rushed over to him, checking him over for injuries. M'gann wasn't that far behind.</p><p>He'd never seen that from them during his tenure.</p><p>
  <em>They like him.</em>
</p><p>And finally, the pieces fell into place.</p><p>He could blame Bruce's eagerness to leave him behind on wanting a son who wasn't a street rat. He could blame Dick's reaction on not wanting to be replaced. But he couldn't reasonably say that everyone was involved in a conspiracy to hate him, and him alone.</p><p>It was his fault. All of it.</p><p>He should have stayed dead.</p><p>As Jason felt the anger fade for the first time in years, a surprising clarity dawned on him.</p><p>He got up from the chair and walked out.</p>
<hr class="endline"/><p>By the time he got to what passed for a living room, the team had migrated there, having changed and showered after a gruelling mission.</p><p>It seemed as though they had done away with the secret identity stuff. Probably because they were actually friends who trusted each other.</p><p>As he walked into view, he watched them all bristle, jump and enter fighting stance.</p><p>Before five seconds had passed, they were in formation. With the kid at the centre.</p><p>They never did that for him.</p><p>He shook his head, trying to rattle the thoughts out.</p><p>"Red Hood." The kid - <em>Tim, his name was Tim</em> - squeaked. He looked young, so young.</p><p>Slowly putting his hands up, Jason removed his helmet. It came off with a hiss.</p><p>He heard half the members inhale sharply.</p><p>"Jason Todd." Tim's voice had a sense of awe to itself.</p><p>"Jason." M'gann sounded shaken.</p><p>"In the flesh. And no, I'm not a clone or a zombie." Jason paused. "Well, I am a zombie, and I guess I don't really have all my marbles in place, but I think I've got enough functioning brain cells to qualify as a living human. Although the beating from the Joker and the asphyxiation in the coffin didn't help on that front."</p><p>He ignored the pained noise that came from the Martian.</p><p>He pulled a packet of cigarettes from his jacket, and a lighter.</p><p>The team went right back into fighting mode.</p><p>It was fitting, in a way. He had never belonged with them in the first place.</p><p>He put a single Marlboro into his mouth and flicked on the cheap lighter. He watched M'gann follow it until he had lit the cigarette and put the offending box back into his pocket.</p><p>"You're the Red Hood." Conner's tone spoke volumes.</p><p>"Yeah, you don't need to sound disappointed, Superboy. I think I'm living up to everyone's expectations of me."</p><p>He ignored the noise that came from Conner's throat.</p><p>"We need to call Bruce." Ah, Tim was still in that phase of his relationship with Batman. "He'll be so happy to see-"</p><p>"He knows. Has known for a while now."</p><p>That shut him up.</p><p>"Doesn't matter. I'll be honest, I came here to prove that you're not ready to be a hero. That you don't deserve it. But then again, who am I to speak of not deserving the mantle? Bruce was probably overjoyed to find a kid who agreed with him."</p><p>"No, Jason, don't blame Bruce, I was the one-"</p><p>"Doesn't matter. You're a good kid, Tim. You'll do great."</p><p>"What are you going to do?" Tim sounded scared.</p><p>"Set things right with Bruce."</p><p>Thankfully, that seemed to set them at ease.</p><p>Jason walked away, towards the teleporters. He entered the one he had hacked to get into the Tower and punched in his destination.</p><p>"Goodbye, guys." He jabbed a finger towards the new Robin. "Also, keep him alive."</p><p>The rest of the team nodded, but Tim looked... scared.</p><p>"It's fine, kid. You're a good Replacement. It suits you."</p><p>He left, without waiting for a reply.</p>
<hr class="endline"/><p>Tim was scared.</p><p>Yes, he was happy - <em>because Robin was alive, how cool was that?</em> - and unsure - <em>because he didn't know what would happen to Robin now that the real one was back</em> - and apprehensive - because Jason Todd had mentioned wanting to prove that he was better, which sounded like a threat.</p><p>But now, there was mostly fear because he had seen the look in Jason's eyes, and it did not look like he was actually going to talk to Bruce. At least, it didn't appear as though the conversation would be one that involved reconciliation and healing.</p><p>Not to mention that Bruce would probably blow the whole thing thanks to his inability to talk openly.</p><p>After taking an embarrassingly long time to recover from his breakdown, he charged off to his workstation here at the Tower.</p><p>His first instinct was to call Bruce. He would know what to do.</p><p>He rang the hotline installed into Bruce's headgear. It rang twice before Bruce responded.</p><p>"Robin. What's wrong?"</p><p>"Bruce. Jason's back. He was here at the Tower."</p><p>"He's there?" Bruce's tone was filled with worry. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you-"</p><p>"We're all fine, Bruce. He said he was here for a fight, but I guess he decided not to go through with it. But... he said that I would do great as Robin, and left. You need to talk to him, Bruce. He's going to do something stupid, I know it."</p><p>He could sense Bruce's hesitation on the other end of the line. "I'm not sure-"</p><p>"Look, it doesn't matter that he's the Red Hood. He's your son, B. You need to talk to him, or else we're going to lose him again."</p><p>Bruce did not reply.</p><p>"Bruce, can you hear me?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Talk to him. Please."</p><p>"Your opinion has been noted, Robin. You are to stay at the Tower indefinitely until further notice."</p><p>"B, you can't do-"</p><p>"I can and I will. That is a direct order, Robin. Is that understood?"</p><p>Bruce had a talent for being the biggest hardass ever.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Good. Batman out." The line disconnected. Batman was never one for excessive fanfare.</p><p>Tim gritted his teeth, and punched his table.</p><p>Kon came up to his side, putting an arm on his shoulder and pulling him into a small hug.</p><p>"I'm guessing he forbade you from leaving."</p><p>"He did."</p><p>"He didn't mention us, though."</p><p>Tim smiled. Kon was a godsend.</p><p>"No, he didn't."</p>
<hr class="endline"/><p>Bruce had barely had time to process his conversation with Tim when Oracle's voice began ringing through his speaker.</p><p>"B. Hood hacked into my systems, left a message."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"I'll play it."</p><p>A click came through his headset, and then, a voice he hadn't heard in a long, long time.</p><p>"Crime Alley. You know where."</p><p>Short and direct.</p><p>Bruce decided to head off, but before he could move a muscle, Oracle spoke again.</p><p>"B. I'm with Robin on this one. This could go south pretty fast. Don't fuck it up."</p><p>"Noted."</p><p>At any other time, he would have bet on an eye roll, but this time, he heard a sigh.</p><p>"Bruce. Don't. Fuck. This. Up."</p><p>"I won't." <em>As long as Jason cooperates, we can end this without violence.</em></p><p>He heard a click on the channel, and then silence. He pulled out his grapple and swung away.</p>
<hr class="endline"/><p>As Bruce crashed into the old apartment block, all of his electronic equipment stopped functioning. To compensate, his brain automatically began noting the escape points, the hiding spots, the enemy (he stopped himself from thinking too hard about his son being an enemy) and the hostage, who was a lanky man with green hair and a white face and a purple jacket-</p><p>The Joker.</p><p>He was bound and gagged but seemed as enthusiastic as ever, and Bruce wanted to sink his fists into his smug grin so that he could never smile again-</p><p>
  <em>Focus. You cannot afford to get sidetracked by the unimportant issues.</em>
</p><p>"Jason."</p><p>"Hello, Bruce."</p><p>"Jason, please, stop this madness. This is not you-"</p><p>"It's the Lazarus Pit, it's making me angry, I don't have to be this way? The real me wouldn't be angry about my death? Wouldn't want my murderer brought to justice? Would be completely fine with you moving on to pulling another kid to your cause? Please, Bruce, come up with something better than that."</p><p>Wait. Jason sounded different.</p><p>In all his previous interactions with the Hood, he had been openly mocking of Batman's ways. His insults were filled with spite and hate. But now, Jason sounded... tired.</p><p>He looked at him, ignoring the voice in his head that screamed at him to forget about being the Bat because <em>this was his son, the son he had lost and mourned and had now come back to him</em> and forced himself to catalogue the Hood's gear and prepare to attack.</p><p>The Hood was light on gear. He was carrying just one pistol, wore minimal additional ammo and had no other weapons, and was lacking his distinctive helmet. He did have a remote in his left hand, which looked like a detonator with a dead man's trigger.</p><p>The Hood was clearly watching his gaze because he answered the question he had been pondering.</p><p>"The building is rigged to blow. Enough explosives to turn the building, and everything inside it, to rubble."</p><p>The Hood tossed him a gun. Batman grabbed it on reflex. That was all.</p><p>"If you think I deserve justice for what he did to me, and you feel up to the task of giving it to me, shoot him."</p><p>No. It made no sense.</p><p>"Why do you want me to do that?"</p><p>"I want to know if you can do it."</p><p>"You already know that I cannot kill him."</p><p>"I'm not talking about Batman."</p><p>Bruce blinked.</p><p>"I get that this is manipulative, but I need to know if you would kill him for me."</p><p>No. Jason could not possibly be asking that of him.</p><p>"Why would you ask me to do that? Do you hate me that much?"</p><p>Jason laughed. "Of course you'd think that."</p><p>"You know how important Batman is. You know how important the Rule is. And despite that, you want me to go against it and destroy all that I have worked for?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Bruce froze.</p><p>"I would have done it for you."</p><p>
  <em>No, Jason. Don't say that.</em>
</p><p>"I would have killed him for you, without a second thought. Would have scoured the earth to find him, and made sure that he could not rise again."</p><p>
  <em>Please, stop. Don't say that. It's not true, it isn't. I loved you.</em>
</p><p>"You know, when I first heard that the Joker was alive, I didn't believe it. Talia had to show me a newspaper with a photo of you putting him into Arkham to prove it."</p><p>"Talia is the Daughter of the Demon, did you expect-"</p><p>"-her to tell the truth? Yes, I did." Jason's tone was devoid of any emotion whatsoever. Bruce didn't know how much he had missed the life in his lost son's voice until it was gone. "She doesn't need to lie to me to manipulate me. And if she wanted you destroyed, she wouldn't have stopped me from killing you and your precious Robin a few years ago."</p><p>
  <em>No, you would never try to kill me. Even now, you hate me, and you haven't done that. You haven't even killed the Joker, and you hate him.</em>
</p><p>"She told me that this was a waste, that it would only bring sorrow and pain. She offered to kill the Joker for me. I refused. It had to be you."</p><p>Jason took a deep breath.</p><p>"For so long, I told myself that you didn't kill him because you hated me for being a son unworthy of your name. That Dick loved Tim because he hated me for being a street rat taking what was his, and he didn't have to worry about that with Tim, who comes from his own pool of wealth. But that doesn't explain why Alfred loves him. Why the other heroes love him."</p><p>"No, Jason, we would never-"</p><p>"That's because I was the problem, you see."</p><p>Tears well up in Jason's eyes.</p><p>"It was my fault that you disowned me and left me to die. It was my fault that Dick didn't bother responding to my request for backup. It was my fault that everyone resented me for taking Dick's place because I was the one who didn't deserve it."</p><p>Jason took a deep breath. Bruce tried to move and get to his son to stop him, but his body refused to obey.</p><p>"Well, I guess I can fix that."</p>
<hr class="endline"/><p>As the team approached the building, with M'gann at the helm, Kon voiced the first issue with their rescue attempt.</p><p>"There's a lot of Kryptonite shielding around one of the rooms in there. He was prepared for us."</p><p>Tim, the harbinger of great news that made you want to bash your brains in, helpfully disabused them of their delusions.</p><p>"From the amount I see from the scans here, I think he was preparing for Super<em>man</em>."</p><p>And because he wasn't satisfied with just that, he added more.</p><p>"He's also got some tech from Mr Freeze in the room with himself. Also, there's a couple metric tons of phosphorus in the rooms adjacent. Also, the building has, you know, bombs."</p><p>"I think I can reach him from here. It's just in range." M'gann supplied. "We could try talking."</p><p>"Yes, that might be the best option." Tim conceded. "Go for it."</p><p>"Should I bring him into our group?"</p><p>Tim considered it for a moment. "Yes. It might help to have multiple people trying to persuade him."</p><p>As M'gann established the link, Kon felt like a long-lost piece of his soul had been found again. But the satisfaction didn't last long.</p><p>"Jason. We're here to help-"</p><p>He paused. There was nothing from Jason's end of the link.</p><p>The feeling of Jason was there, but that was all. There were no thoughts, no emotions. Just a void, and a sense of emptiness.</p><p>And on closer focus, a touch of resignation.</p><p>Kon felt a shudder convulse through him as his mind attempted to grapple with the idea.</p><p>
  <em>Jason's going to kill himself.</em>
</p><p>Before he could voice a response of some sort, Jason's voice rippled through his head.</p><p>
  <strong>It's okay. No need to worry. You don't need to look.</strong>
</p><p>Kon tried to protest.</p><p>
  <strong>Jason, please, don't-.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I have to. It's okay, you don't need to feel guilty about me. It was all my fault, I guess. Hope this makes up for it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>No, Jason, we love you, please don't do this.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You don't need to pretend for me.</strong>
</p><p>Through Jason's mind, Kon felt the - hero? Anti-hero? Traumatised child? - let go of the dead man's trigger.</p><p>Through Jason, he felt the room temperature go down as ice rapidly froze the room (and Batman), saw the bright light of the phosphorus burning in the adjacent apartments.</p><p>
  <strong>Guess there are no heroes to come save me.</strong>
</p><p>And in that very moment, through both Jason's ears and his own, he heard a window crash in.</p>
<hr class="endline"/><p>As the ice closed around Bruce, he closed his eyes.</p><p>He didn't want to see his son die a second time. He didn't. He might not have liked what his son was doing, but he wasn't going to try and deny his son's feelings.</p><p>As his son let go of the trigger, he wondered if he could have said something different, done something different, in the past few minutes. In the past few days. Months. Years.</p><p> At that moment, he hoped and prayed for the explosion to take him too.</p><p>He knew it was a selfish and cowardly choice, but he didn't want to bear the pain of carrying Jason's lifeless body again.</p><p>He heard the crash of the window caving in, and a voice he hadn't heard in a long time.</p><p>"Habibi."</p><p>
  <em>That's Talia. What is she doing here?</em>
</p><p>"You stupid fool. What on <em>earth</em> compelled you to do this?"</p><p>"It's me. I'm the one who needs to go."</p><p>"No, it is not. And anyone who would dare say that had better be prepared to say that to the end of my sword as it cuts through their throat."</p><p>Jason laughed weakly. In a way, it felt like a mother scolding a child.</p><p>"I can't do this. Not while he... he lives."</p><p>"Then I believe I have a solution."</p><p>"No, Talia, it's not your responsibility to-"</p><p>"It is my responsibility to take care of my son."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"<em>No</em>. I will not let you kill yourself for his pride. Your safety matters more than anything else, my son. You are free to hate me forever for it, but I will never let you hurt yourself for someone else's benefit."</p><p>Without even a side glance at Bruce, she walked up to the Joker. In one smooth stroke, his head was gone.</p><p>The Joker was dead.</p><p>As the clown's body fell to the floor, Bruce wondered if this was a dream. If he would suddenly wake up screaming from this experience that lay somewhere in that painful gap between dreams and nightmares.</p><p>All he got was the burning sensation of the ice numbing his skin.</p><p>He could feel M'gann M'orzz enter his mind as Tim screamed about calling the JLA for backup, but he couldn't find it in himself to stop him. He just wanted this to be over.</p><p>He watched as Talia walked back to Jason, who lay curled up in a foetal position on the floor. Watched as she removed the detonator from his hand. Watched as she picked him up and carried him to the transport that had somehow materialised beside the building.</p><p>M'gann, Kon and Bart were complaining about something or the other stopping them from coming in, and the rest were complaining about not having enough information to go in. Tim seemed to have effectively stopped them from following their heroism instincts and charging into trouble.</p><p>Bruce watched as his son was carried away, as he stood frozen in a block of ice.</p><p>And as Talia flew away with Jason in tow, he wondered if he would ever see his son again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is derived from a different story idea I had while working on my other fics, but it stuck to me like a leech over the past few days. I'm stuck with my extended family now, so long-form writing is harder, but I needed to do something to not go completely crazy. I hope this isn't too terrible.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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